Table for One

The table wasn’t supposed to be empty today. Hell, it wasn’t supposed to be empty ever. There were supposed to be two people growing old together in those chairs. Two siblings arguing about who deserves more egg puffs than the other. Grandparents visiting to experience Ramadan and then Eid together with their grandchildren. There were supposed to be a LOT of things. Just not a table for one.

Of course, the day did not start like this. The chairs had names on them. But as the day unfolded, each set of cards folded – for one reason or the other. What remained was me. The cutlets I made. The egg puffs I baked. All reduced to a table for one.

I was not particularly upset. Just a tad bit sad. But here’s the thing – I wasn’t sad for me.

No, honestly, no.

I was sad for my mom. Women like my mom. The woman who was my mother-in-law. My widowed aunt. My friend’s mom. Women who happened to get alone when they were not ready for it. My old neighbor whose eyes used to lit up when we stopped by to chat.

In fact, men too. The random old shopkeeper who delayed giving you the change just so the conversation would continue.

Why just old! Young too. My friend who pings to meet up because she did not want to return to an empty home. My cousin who hates his wife traveling for work because he hated eating alone.

What I mean is, loneliness is “me-time” when you are ready for it. When you have subscribed for it. When you have prepared yourself for it. Otherwise, loneliness tends to be misery. You don’t know what to do with it. Especially if you are short of options – whether it be in the form of friends, mobility or capacity.

I lost a lot of friends when I got divorced. For good or bad. And then, emerged some of my greatest support systems – friends who supported me to get back on to my feet, figure my head out, played with my kids and gave me enough boost to tackle my way ahead without fear. I could move around without depending on others, and I was able to financially figure my shit out in due course. My friends, my mobility and my capacity were in my favor.

But today, as I sat by my dining table, biting into my egg puffs alone, I felt a strong tinge of sadness for those people without one or the other in their favor. The struggle is harder for them. The hurdles, just as real.

If you do sense someone around you who clearly did not ask for their “me-time”, check on them. If it does not tax your peace, have a conversation, get a coffee, share a laugh. They don’t need a savior, believe me, they are more than capable to deal with their own shit. But companionship and a “hey, I see you and I’d love to walk that 10 mins with you” would help them through a rough patch that you can hope you don’t experience anytime soon.

OR, you can be that entitled brat so blissfully happy in their perfect little world, without a rat’s a** about what others are going through.

I was there – oblivious to things UNTIL things happened TO ME.

Lol, the tables turn rather quick ladies & gentlemen, so THIS is your sign to be more attentive to humans around. It’s called EMPATHY – and I recommend it 100%.

Peace out xx